My thoughts

I received this comment (see below) on my post "Merton on Seeking God"...as I wrote my response it got sooooo long that I turned it into a post....

While I can appreciate the eloquence and depth of these sorts of mystical reflections, I personally encounter difficulty in applying them to life. The mystical lifestyle appears to constitute an implicit withdrawal from the world, at least psychologically or spiritually. If that is indeed the case, that withdrawal makes it more difficult to connect these esoteric spiritual experiences with the more mundane spiritual reality that most people live within. In other words, I find it difficult to derive a simple program of action from these types of reflections.


Hmmmm....well I would be a fool to attempt to interpret Merton, or mysticism for that matter. I have been soaking in the writings of Christian mystics for about 5 years. Very few writers that I have read hold esteem for esoteric experiences, more often they encourage interior reform. I have found that my greatest focus need not necessarily be on the actual words that they write, but on my various reactions to them. Inspirations, not instructions. Why does that particular sentence affect me like this? Why does that concept make me cry? Why does that insight seem impossible to attain? And so on...

I have chosen to view these writings as lights and mirrors to help illuminate and reveal things about myself; positive, negative, strengths, weaknesses, areas to improve...I acknowledge that it would be better for me to be mentored by a person as it is so easy to fall into self-deception. Unfortunately I haven't found anyone willing to invest in that role in my life, so the writings will have to suffice.

Mystical writers have challenged me to reconcile the inconsistencies in my life. I'm not trying to achieve a "destiny," or arrive at a particular destination or pinnacle of perfection. My goal is just to try to be as pleasing to God in this very moment as I can be.

As I read your post The Will of God revisited (Blog~Cryptic Inscriptions), I consider your words:
"to live uprightly,"
"process of profound transformation",
"full obedience to God",
"to live rightly today",
"let us do our best to love others, love God, and be of maximum service."
For me these statements are as difficult to grasp and attain as Merton's. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to sit with them and allow them to call me to a higher way of living. From the simple actions to the difficult attitude adjustments.

I allow the writings of these authors (from Merton to Sivertson) to challenge me on these ideals; the external manifestations and the interior issues of the soul. As we see in the second half of Matthew chapter 5, we are to reform our external behavior and we must also reform our heart and mind.

I liked your comment about withdrawal...and believe me it would be so easy for me to go live in a cave and never come out! However, my life includes a husband called to spiritual leadership, three awesome kids, and a value for husband-wife team ministry. Meanwhile I'm planted in a pentecostal church and drawn to the teachings of monks....oye. Therefore, in my life, I have decided that psychological/spiritual withdrawal is not an option. So what do I do? Are the writings of the mystics incompatible with my lifestyle? How do I DO this? Like you said...where is the simple program of action....or is there one? Even the "answers" only drive more questions....

So if I put away all of the contemplative language...what am I left with? Here's a super short example of what I would deem practical application within mundane spiritual reality.

I'll be transparent...
when I read Merton's reflection on seeking God perfectly my initial reaction was "Oh crap."

My second thought was, "How am I supposed 'to love all men as myself'...and 'to turn aside from controversy and put away heavy loads of judgment and censorship and criticism and the whole burden of opinions that I have no burden to carry,"?

Impossible, inconceivable. People drive me crazy.

I can recognize however that my irritable opinions of people and things and whatnot do not actually serve any real purpose. They live their lives. I waste my time thinking about where they've blown it, they don't care....end result= time wasted.

So then I become aware that I need to let go of those actions/thoughts and spend my time in better ways. Which is much easier written than embodied. Good thing I've got that extra time on my hands...because my next task is to learn to love them??? Impossible, inconceivable....yet I know I must try.

...and I feel God smile and laugh. The secret contact of God in obscure love...